• County Lines

Robotic

The original trapper showed up on my doorstep on Christmas Day. In all the chaos with my friends kid, I completely forgot.

He stood there, fresh out of prison with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. And for a split second all I saw was a naughty teenager who was so very familiar to me, for all the wrong reasons but nevertheless, I instinctively reached out and gave him a hug.

He asked me about some rumour going around that I’d apparently spread about him. He kept me engaged in conversation for a good 2 or 3 minutes before it began to dawn on me that;

(a) I don’t speak to anyone. I don’t socialise with anybody aside from my friend. Thus the rumour was utter bullshit.

(b) This was a person who had made my life hell for the past 9 months.

His clever plan had worked. He had broken me down so much physically and mentally over those months to the point where I now act on autopilot. He still has the power over me. I still act like a robot around him.

For those 3 minutes where I hugged him and he distracted me with conversation, I reverted back to being the broken robot he turned me into.

I am thoroughly ashamed of myself and feel weak and utterly pathetic knowing they still have the power.

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