• County Lines

Long Time, No Speak

I know I know, I’m not much of a blogger when I never bloody blog. But what is there to blog about when things aren’t going wrong…

In life, you have the good, the bad and the ugly. Our brains aren’t captivated by the good. Our attention is only caught by the bad and the ugly. If singers and song writers, authors and journalists, actors and directors, couldn’t involve the bad and the ugly…imagine the content of songs, the plotline of books, the storyline in films, the topics and subject areas in the news. To pique our interest, the bad and the ugly have to be included alongside the good.

The point I’m trying to make, is that I have no fucking clue what to blog about. Shit hasn’t hit the fan, I’m not up shit creek without a paddle, my current circumstances aren’t going to shit! Hooray!

But I can GUARANTEE, you won’t be interested in reading about my husband being such a flat pack furniture master; he’s just constructed our very boring, rectangular, cheap TV unit together in no less than 15 minutes.

I can bet my life on the fact that you don’t give a flying toss about the new lightbulb in the bathroom which makes the process of taking a dump so much more smoother.

I know for absolute certainty you won’t be remotely excited about my successful Sainsbury’s online food shop. Which was successful for two reasons: 1. I booked the last available slot which is for tomorrow morning- thus I don’t have to wait the average 5-7 days for my groceries to be delivered. 2. My guilty food pleasure is iced donuts- and they were IN STOCK!

I’m afraid there have been no drug raids, arrest warrants, court appearances, hostage negotiations, allegations of child grooming, illegal evictions, homelessness, or shortage of drugs. Everything is tickety-boo!

You know I’ve just jinxed myself horribly don’t you?

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