Today I danced in my knickers while I was cleaning my flat! I can’t believe I’m saying that. I didn’t do it because I wanted to. I did it because I COULD.
The police FINALLY came! And it was terrifying and traumatising and things went horribly tits up but right now I don’t give a flying fuck because I can now dance in my knickers whenever I damn well feel like it, and oh my God freedom feels good!
I got raided the day before yesterday, and let me tell you the feeling of RELIEF was incredible. Being raided was awful. I felt like some sort of lowlife criminal. I hate the way people judge drug addicts. They look at us with a mixture of disgust and hatred; like we spend everyday running around infecting people with HIV and robbing old ladies. When the police asked how I funded my habit, they didnt believe I was legitimately self employed. Nor did they believe I had not been arrested before. But I guess in their job they have every reason to be skeptical.
I am crushed that they found drugs in my home though. I never saw that one coming. I didn’t realise the gang left drugs hidden in my flat when they weren’t here. But it now makes sense why they used to go to such extremes to get back in.
So I got arrested, and released some 20 hours later under investigation for possession with intent to supply class-a drugs.
For 7 hellish months I have been imprisoned in my own home. I have endured being physically abused, mentally tortured and threatened on a daily basis. I have suffered the humiliation of being forced to be a personal skivvy to each member of the gang while they have robbed me, ridiculed me, bullied me and broken me.
Yet I am the one being charged with drug offences. I am the one losing my home as a result of the raid. I am the one who has lost my freedom because I am now too terrified to go outside.
I cannot think of a better quote to sum up my life right now;
LIFE’S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE, SO FUCK THE WORLD AND LET’S GET HIGH