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Convenient Corner Shop

I feel like the convenient corner shop. A One Stop or Spar.

Yesterday the police showed up twice. One member of the group was here when 2 plain clothed officers knocked on my door! Yet STILL these guys have been here today. I cannot decide whether they are fearless or fucking idiots? 3 of them buzz my intercom incessantly until I let them up. I was angry and upset enough as it was, but that turned to raging hysteria when yet another stranger; one of their ‘friends’ is bought into my flat too. This is where they proceed to make themselves comfortable, roll a joint- without asking if that was OK (the answer is no, I don’t want weed smoked in my flat! I can’t stand the damn stuff), and switch on their loud, gangsta-style rap music then shout, yell, laugh and swear. I wanted to cry. I’m in a block of flats, how disrespectful to my neighbours for starters! But mostly, I wanted them to leave. Yet I let them in. I swear I suffer from Stockholm Syndrome though, because at some point I gave up fighting to try and make them go. Maybe I just ran out of energy. What confuses me is why I sit here with the comprehension of what they are doing to me, and caring about them simultaneously. Id go as far as to admit that some days I LIKE them. But I HATE them too…

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