• County Lines

Backed into a Corner

Why do I constantly end up in situations where I’m backed into a corner by somebody?

My best mate has a teenage kid who was so unhappy living at home, and had built up so much anger and resentment; the kid rang the social services on her and asked to be put into care.

The kid was always running away, ended up living in a shed, openly talked about wanting to commit suicide, was involved in an incident that resulted in him being arrested, didn’t go to school because he’d been expelled, and was becoming increasingly violent and spiralling more out of control by the day.

He refused to go on a family holiday, my best mate asked if he could stay. I never expected him to. But she couldn’t leave him without an adult to be responsible for him; should he need an adult.

Surprisingly, he agreed to stay at mine and was quite enthusiastic about it. To him I was, and still am, his mum’s ‘cool best friend’ who he refers to as ‘Aunty’ and not only spoils him rotten, but AGREES that his mum asking him to do the washing up is utterly inhumane because doing the washing up is SHIT and everyone hates doing it! Me and her kids have a great relationship. I’ve made sure they know they can trust me, rely on me and always come to me in times of need.

From the beginning, I made a conscious effort to build up the kids trust and be honest. I knew being open minded and showing very little reaction to situations that should cause shock, or anger, or surprise- would ensure he would always be comfortable talking to me openly. It worked. We can talk about things most other teenagers wouldn’t DREAM of talking to an adult about. Which are normally the things that get a teenager into trouble, and wouldn’t have happened in the first place if an adult knew. Unfortunately those things are things which are awkward, embarrassing, humiliating or scary to talk about.

My best mate got back from her holiday, but her teenage kid didn’t budge. He stated that he was really quite content living here thanks, it was a relief to live with a person who he liked, got on well with, and who he didn’t argue every single day with. He now didn’t want to get into trouble and was attending school. My enthusiasm spurred on his enthusiasm. The downside to his increasing happiness, was his increasing resentment, bitterness and anger towards his mum.

And his mum, my best friend, is quite frankly dangerous if she doesn’t get her own way, and a month later the raid by the police had happened and social services had consequently forbidden her kid to have any interaction with me what so ever, thinking I’m some junkie drug dealer grooming children to be my drug mules. All the while and as I’m writing this, my so called best friend hasn’t spoken up once to correct them.

Yet her kid is threatening to kill himself if he has to go home, has rang the social services on her- his mum, and is becoming physically violent towards her when he gets upset.

Her being more interested in drugs than her kid, the appeal of making me fork out for him, thus having more money for drugs, and the recent experience of only having to deal with the stress of 1 kid, not 2; meant she didn’t refuse his pleas to stay. She didn’t ask for my permission for him to stay either, nor did she give a shit about the social services finding out where he was staying, which would almost definitely result in me being arrested again. She never acknowledged the risk I had no option but to take, the invasion of my privacy having him live in my home, the stress and constant worry of knowing the potential consequences, the sacrifices I was making- primarily due to not being able to financially support myself AND her son. Though she receives child tax credits and child benefits, not once has she offered to help me with money, nor has she given me a penny towards what he costs me in food, clothes, transport, toiletries, school stuff, socialising, pocket money. NOTHING.

Instead, I’m backed into a corner. If she doesn’t get what she wants (which is mainly money for drugs), she’ll blackmail me by threatening to call the police and tell them he’s at mine; which she’s done today. Or she’ll accuse me of wanting to kidnap her kids for myself. She stands by allowing the social services to believe I’m a danger to her kid, doing nothing to prove im not, she does the same when her family question into the type of relationship I have with her kid; hinting at the possibility of a relationship of a different kind, she doesn’t argue with people who make accusations as to whether I’m a paedophile for fucks sake.

This is why im in a hotel tonight. She is now so predictable I could see what was coming when she didn’t get her way today. She demanded her kid come home or she’d stay at mine. I refused. He refused. He threatened to kill himself all the while sobbing that’s what he’d do if he had to go back. I couldn’t afford to let her sit and sponge off me all night, stressing me out. He wouldn’t budge, she said she’d call the police so he had no option but to go back. He replied stating he’d rather go into care and would ring the social services. I booked the hotel so neither her or her kid could stay, but knowing her kid was suicidal and would be walking the streets all night was terrifying. He’d be safe staying at mine, but I wouldn’t be. So I booked a hotel. At least her kid is safe, so she can blackmail me and threaten me all she wants now- I can’t get into trouble for her kid seeing me because I am here and I know he will be safe tonight.

But I can’t stay in hotels forever. Nor can I continue supporting her kid financially, giving into her demands, taking such a big risk every day, sacrificing my own basic needs for someone else, like food which is why I’m currently so thin and emaciated, or my mental health which is so poor I think of nothing other than committing suicide, or my physical health which is rapidly declining thanks to stress.

The kid is threatening to kill himself if he has to leave, and I’m threatened with having my freedom taken away if he stays- either by suicide or prison.

How have people managed to back me SO far into a corner AGAIN? Why am I back in a situation where I am doing nothing but give, give, give, be a kind person, help others out yet the consequences be getting into trouble for doing so?

Why am I the only person on the planet that gets ARRESTED when calling the police for their help?

If that wasn’t the case, and I knew history wouldn’t repeat itself; I’d go to the social services for their help and have them intervene giving her kid somewhere to live where he was safe and happy. And I’d ring the police for THEIR help to stop my ex best friend blackmailing me, harrassing me, threatening me and bullying me. But knowing the likely outcome will be having a pair of handcuffs slapped on me while simultaneously being branded another type of criminal is too traumatising to contemplate.

Recent Posts

See All

I just had to write the message below to a close friend, or who I thought was a close friend. I don't need to explain, but I will hold my hands up and admit that I am a total fucking knobhead when wil

I am going to explain what it feels like during the withdrawal process from drugs- specifically heroin. If I hear the analogy "it's just like a bad case of the flu" one more time; I am going to lose m