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I’m a drug addict but…

  1. I’m not infected with HIV.

  2. I’ve never stolen as much as a penny sweet from the corner shop.

  3. I have no criminal record.

  4. I have never robbed anyone, vandalised anything, burgled anybody’s house or acted in an antisocial manner.

  5. I was bought up to fear and respect the police.

  6. I fund my drug habit via way of shagging the idiotic men who are willing to pay for sex.

  7. If there has been a shortage of idiotic men- I rattle until I get off my arse and over to the local drug services for a methadone prescription.

  8. My home is not littered with needles, nor do I litter the streets with needles.

  9. The one time I did use a needle, I overdosed, died 4 times and got an abscess which still hasn’t gone. (Incidentally the needle in question was disposed of by a disgusted paramedic).

  10. I don’t socialise with anybody. I’m a drug addicted nightmare with a personality disorder who once decided to get clean from drugs…by becoming an alcoholic. Which makes logical sense to me.

  11. Ive never been in a fight. I had to Google how to bitch slap a girl, but backed out at the last minute and cried.

These are the facts. What a terrible drug addicted drain on society I am.

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